The Morning I Decided to Call a Medium

It started with a cup of coffee.

Every morning for 41 years, I woke up to a cup of coffee on my nightstand. Black, two sugars, in the blue ceramic mug I bought at a craft fair in 1987. My husband Ed made it for me before I opened my eyes. Even when he was sick, even during chemo, even on the morning he could barely stand, that coffee was there.

The morning after he died, I woke up and reached for the mug. My hand found an empty nightstand. That is when it hit me. Not the fact that he was gone — I had been preparing for that for months. But the realization that no one would ever know me the way Ed did. No one would remember the blue mug, the two sugars, the way I can’t form a coherent thought before caffeine.

That was fourteen months ago.

I am not someone who believed in psychics. Ed and I were practical, churchgoing Midwesterners. We did not read horoscopes. We did not consult astrologers. When our daughter bought a ouija board in college, Ed made her return it. We believed in hard work, common sense, and the Lord.

But grief changes you. It cracks you open in ways you did not know were possible, and through those cracks, you become willing to try things the old version of you would have dismissed. On a Tuesday morning in March, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee I had made myself, I typed “can a medium connect me with my dead husband” into my phone.

That search changed my life.

What I Thought Would Happen vs. What Actually Happened

I expected one of two things. Either I would talk to a complete fraud who would tell me generic nonsense and take my money, or I would have some kind of dramatic experience — hearing Ed’s voice, feeling his presence in the room, something from a television show.

Neither happened. What actually happened was quieter, stranger, and more beautiful than either extreme.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning.

Choosing My First Medium

I spent three days researching before I made a call. Three days of reading websites, comparing prices, and going back and forth between “this is crazy” and “what do I have to lose?” I eventually settled on Psychic Source because they had been around since 1989 and specialized in medium readings. The longevity reassured me. A scam operation does not stay in business for over 30 years.

The process of choosing a specific medium was overwhelming at first. There were dozens of readers listed as mediums, each with a photo, a biography, and customer reviews. I spent an entire evening reading reviews, specifically looking for ones from other widows and widowers.

I found a medium I will call Margaret. Her reviews were full of comments from people who had lost spouses. One review said: “She told me things about my husband that no one else could have known. I felt like he was sitting right next to me.” Another said: “Margaret was patient with me when I couldn’t stop crying. She waited and then gently continued. My wife came through so clearly.”

I booked a phone reading for the following afternoon. Then I barely slept that night.

The First Reading: Margaret on Psychic Source

I called the toll-free number at 2:00 PM sharp. A friendly operator confirmed my appointment and connected me. Margaret’s voice was warm, unhurried, and about my age. She sounded like someone I might sit next to at church.

“Take your time,” she said. “There’s no rush. Just tell me the first name of the person you’d like to connect with.”

“Ed,” I said. My voice cracked on that single syllable.

“All right, sweetheart. Let me see who’s stepping forward.”

There was a pause. Maybe 30 seconds, though it felt like an hour.

“I have a gentleman here who is showing me his hands. He’s showing me that his hands were very important to his work. Did Ed work with his hands?”

Ed was an electrician for 35 years. His hands were calloused, scarred, and permanently stained. I used to hold them while we watched television at night.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“He’s showing me something about wiring or circuits. Something technical. And he’s chuckling about it — like he’s remembering a specific incident where something went wrong and it became a funny story.”

In 1994, Ed accidentally shorted out the entire electrical panel in our first house while trying to install a ceiling fan. The power went out for two days. We ate cold sandwiches by candlelight and laughed about it for 30 years.

I told Margaret that the detail resonated. She continued.

“He’s also showing me a dog. A small dog, something scrappy-looking. Did you have a small dog together?”

We had a terrier mix named Biscuit for 16 years. She died three years before Ed.

“He wants you to know that Biscuit was the first one to greet him,” Margaret said. “And he’s saying — this is a little unusual — he’s saying something about the back porch. Something on the back porch that you keep looking at.”

The back porch. Where Ed’s rocking chair still sits. Where I go every evening to watch the sunset and talk to him, even though no one answers.

I was sobbing by this point. Not from sadness, exactly. From something more complicated. A mixture of grief, relief, longing, and the strangest kind of joy.

Margaret gave me a moment. Then she said: “Ed is saying the coffee is okay. He knows you’re making it yourself now and he’s sorry he can’t do it for you anymore, but he says you’re getting the sugars right.”

The blue mug. The two sugars. The coffee on the nightstand.

I do not know how to explain what that moment felt like to someone who has not experienced it. It was not proof of an afterlife. It was not a scientific experiment. It was a 67-year-old widow sitting in her kitchen, hearing details about her life that a stranger on the phone had no way of knowing, and feeling, for the first time in 14 months, that Ed was not entirely gone.

The reading lasted 35 minutes. I hung up the phone and sat at the kitchen table for another hour, just sitting.

What I Did Next: Trying Other Platforms

That first reading with Margaret was so powerful that I wanted to see if it was a fluke. Maybe Margaret had researched me somehow. Maybe I was so desperate to believe that I was reading meaning into generic statements. I am a skeptic by nature, and even through my tears, that skeptical voice was whispering.

So I decided to try mediums on other platforms. If different readers on different services could provide specific, accurate details about Ed without any prior knowledge, that would mean something to me.

Over the next two months, I had five more medium readings across four platforms.

Reading Two: Thomas on Keen

Thomas was different from Margaret. Where Margaret was warm and grandmotherly, Thomas was direct and businesslike. He did not ask me what I wanted from the reading. He simply said, “I’ve got someone here already. Let me describe what I’m seeing.”

He described Ed’s build — tall, thin, “wiry” was the word he used. That was Ed exactly. Six foot one, never more than 165 pounds, all sinew and bone.

Thomas said Ed was showing him a workshop or garage with tools on the wall. Ed’s garage was his sanctuary. He had every tool organized on a pegboard wall, each one outlined with a marker so he knew exactly where it went. I still have not moved a single tool.

Then Thomas said something that genuinely confused me: “He’s showing me something about a tree. A tree that fell or needs to come down. Does that make sense?”

It did not make sense at the time. I told Thomas that I could not place the reference.

Three weeks later, a large oak branch fell in our backyard during a storm, narrowly missing the garage. I had to hire someone to remove it. The tree needed to come down — the arborist said it was diseased.

I thought about Thomas’s reading for a long time after that. A coincidence, possibly. But an oddly specific one.

Reading Three: Grace on Kasamba

Grace was the first reader who made me feel like I was in a counseling session, not just a psychic reading. She spent the first ten minutes asking about my grief. Not in a probing way, but in the way a good friend asks — gently, with genuine interest.

When she moved into the mediumship portion, she said Ed was showing her a piece of jewelry. “A ring, but not a wedding ring. Something he gave you that isn’t your engagement ring or wedding band.”

For our 25th anniversary, Ed gave me a simple gold band with a small garnet, my birthstone. I wear it on my right hand. I was wearing it during the reading.

Grace said Ed wanted me to know he was proud of how I was handling the house, the bills, the things he used to take care of. He said I was stronger than I thought. And then she said something that has stayed with me: “He’s saying, ‘She doesn’t need me to make the coffee anymore, but I wish she’d let someone else try.’”

I burst out laughing through my tears. It was such an Ed thing to say. Practical, a little blunt, and absolutely loving.

Reading Four: Diane on California Psychics

Diane was recommended by a friend from my grief support group — yes, I had started telling select people about my readings. My friend Helen had lost her husband two years before me and had been getting readings for months.

Diane asked me to hold something of Ed’s during the reading. I held his reading glasses, the ones he kept on the coffee table.

She said Ed was showing her a specific song. “Something about a dance, or dancing. Does that ring a bell?”

Our wedding song was “Could I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray. We danced to it at every anniversary party we ever had.

Diane said Ed was replaying the song and showing her the two of us dancing. She said he wanted me to hear that song and think of him smiling, not crying. “He’s not sad where he is,” Diane said. “He wants you to stop being sad for him.”

That was our 35th anniversary song too. Ed had surprised me by hiring a small band to play at our favorite restaurant. They played that song, and we danced in the middle of a roomful of strangers. He was so proud of himself for planning it. The grin on his face could have lit up a stadium.

Reading Five: A Reading That Did Not Work

I want to be honest about this because it is important: not every reading was a home run.

My fifth reading was on a platform I will not name specifically — one of the larger ones. I chose a medium with high ratings, but from the start, the connection felt off. The reader spoke in vague generalities: “I sense a male presence who loved you very much.” “He wants you to know he’s at peace.” “He’s sending you love and light.”

These are lovely sentiments, but they could apply to literally any widow seeking a medium reading. There were no specific details, no moments that made me catch my breath, no evidence that this reader was connecting with Ed specifically rather than reciting a script.

I ended the reading after 15 minutes. I was not angry — not every reader connects with every person. But it reinforced the importance of reading reviews carefully and not assuming every medium on an established platform is equally gifted.

Reading Six: Marcus on Purple Garden

Marcus was a video reading, my first one. I was nervous about being on camera while discussing something so personal, but Marcus immediately put me at ease with his warm, open demeanor.

He connected with Ed quickly and said something that no other reader had mentioned: “He’s showing me a trip you were planning. Something you were going to do together that didn’t happen.”

Ed and I had planned a trip to Alaska for our 42nd anniversary. It was going to be a cruise, something we had talked about for years but never made happen. Ed was diagnosed six months before the trip. We never went.

Marcus said Ed wanted me to take that trip. Not alone, not with him in spirit, but with someone else. A friend, a sister, one of our kids. He said Ed did not want Alaska to be a monument to what we lost, but a celebration of what we had.

I called my daughter that evening. We booked a cruise to Alaska for the following summer.

What I Learned from Six Medium Readings

After six readings across five platforms over two months, here is what I can tell you with confidence.

The Specific Details Matter

The readings that moved me were not the ones filled with comforting generalities. They were the ones where a stranger mentioned the blue mug, the pegboard wall, the garnet ring, the Anne Murray song, the Alaska trip. Specific details that could not be guessed or researched.

If a medium only offers generalities, that does not necessarily mean they are fraudulent. They may simply not be connecting strongly with your loved one at that moment. But do not settle for generalities. The specific details are where the real power of mediumship lives.

Your Emotional State Affects the Reading

The readings I went into feeling calm and open were better than the one I went into feeling anxious and guarded. I do not know whether my emotional state affected the medium’s ability or just my ability to receive what they were saying, but the pattern was consistent. Give yourself time to settle before a reading. Do not call a medium in the middle of a crying jag or a panic attack.

Not Every Reader Is Right for Every Person

Margaret, Thomas, Grace, Diane, and Marcus were all gifted. But Margaret and Grace resonated with me more than the others because their warmth and patience matched what I needed emotionally. Thomas was accurate but his directness made me slightly uncomfortable during a raw emotional experience. That says nothing about Thomas’s ability — it says everything about the importance of matching your personality with your reader’s style.

The Comfort Is Real, Regardless of the Mechanism

I still do not know, intellectually, whether mediums truly communicate with the dead. I am a practical person and I hold space for doubt. But I know this: after six medium readings, I sleep better. I feel less alone. I talk to Ed on the back porch and I feel, in my bones, that he hears me. Whether that comfort comes from genuine spirit communication or from a deeply human experience of shared story and emotional connection, the result is the same. I am healing.

Set Boundaries with Yourself

Medium readings can become a crutch. After my third reading, I wanted to book another one immediately. I wanted that feeling of connection again, that brief window where Ed felt close enough to touch. I made myself wait three weeks. Then I waited a month. Now I get a reading every six to eight weeks, and that pace feels healthy. The readings supplement my grief journey — they do not replace it.

Other Seniors Who Shared Their Stories with Me

After I started talking openly about my readings, I was surprised how many people my age came forward with their own experiences. Here are three brief stories from friends and acquaintances who gave me permission to share.

Helen, 71 — Lost Her Husband to a Heart Attack

Helen had been married to Richard for 44 years when he collapsed on the golf course. He was gone before the ambulance arrived. No warning, no goodbye, no chance to say the things you always assume you will have time to say.

Helen tried a medium on Psychic Source six months after Richard’s death. The medium described Richard holding a golf club and laughing. She said he wanted Helen to know that it did not hurt, that it was quick, and that his only regret was not finishing the round because he was having a great game.

Helen told me she laughed for the first time since the funeral. “That is exactly what Richard would care about,” she said. “Not the dying part. The unfinished golf round.”

Helen has had four readings since then. She says each one helps her carry the weight a little more easily. She does not believe she is literally talking to Richard. She believes she is talking to someone who helps her remember him in a way that brings comfort instead of pain.

George, 74 — Lost His Wife to Alzheimer’s

George’s grief is complicated because he lost Margaret twice — first to the disease, then to death. By the time Margaret passed, she had not recognized George for three years. He grieved the loss of his wife long before her body followed.

George tried a medium on California Psychics and said the experience was different from what he expected. The medium described Margaret as sharp, funny, and fully herself — none of the confusion that defined her final years. She said Margaret was showing her a garden with roses and asking George to “stop fussing over the house and go outside.”

George had been obsessively cleaning and organizing the house since Margaret’s death, staying indoors for days at a time. He said hearing that Margaret wanted him outside, in the garden she loved, gave him a reason to open the front door again.

Barbara, 68 — Lost Her Husband to Cancer

Barbara’s story is the most similar to mine. Her husband Tom fought pancreatic cancer for 11 months. Barbara was his primary caregiver. After he passed, she was exhausted, hollowed out, and terrified of being alone.

Barbara tried Kasamba after her sister recommended it. Her medium told her that Tom was showing a specific image: Barbara sitting in his recliner, wrapped in his flannel shirt, watching their wedding video. Barbara had done exactly that the night before the reading. She had not told anyone.

The medium said Tom wanted Barbara to know that he was not in pain anymore and that sitting in his chair was fine, but eventually she needed to sit in her own chair again. Barbara told me she understood the metaphor immediately. She could honor Tom’s memory without living inside it.

Understanding What a Medium Reading Actually Involves

Before my first reading, I had no idea what to expect. Everything I knew about mediums came from television shows, which made it look dramatic and theatrical. The reality is much quieter.

A medium reading typically begins with the medium entering a receptive state. Some close their eyes. Some hold an object. Some simply sit quietly for a moment. They are not performing a ritual — they are focusing their attention.

The medium will then describe what they are sensing. This might come as images, words, feelings, or a combination. When Margaret said Ed was “showing” her his hands, she was describing a visual impression she received. When Diane on California Psychics said Ed was “replaying” a song, she was describing an auditory impression.

The medium may ask confirming questions: “Does a blue sweater mean something?” “Is there a connection to fishing?” These are not fishing for information — they are checking whether the impressions they are receiving are accurate. A yes or no answer is all they need.

Sometimes the connection is strong from the beginning. Other times, the medium needs a few minutes to establish it. If nothing meaningful comes through after 10 to 15 minutes, it is reasonable to end the session. Not every reading produces a strong connection, and that is not necessarily a reflection of the medium’s ability or your loved one’s willingness to communicate.

The medium will relay messages as they receive them. These messages are often fragmented — a word, an image, a feeling — that the medium interprets and conveys. The most powerful moments happen when a detail is so specific and accurate that coincidence becomes an inadequate explanation.

A typical medium reading lasts 20 to 45 minutes. Shorter is not worse. Sometimes the most impactful messages come in the first five minutes. Pay attention to quality, not quantity.

Practical Advice for Seniors Considering a Medium Reading

If my story resonates with you and you are thinking about trying a medium reading for the first time, here is my advice.

Start with an Established Platform

Do not search for “psychic medium near me” and call whoever comes up. Use a platform with a screening process and a satisfaction guarantee. Psychic Source, California Psychics, Keen, and Kasamba all met my standards for legitimacy and quality.

Use the Introductory Offers

Nearly every platform offers discounted rates for first-time users. Take advantage of these. Your first reading should cost $15 to $30, not $150. You are testing the waters, not committing to a long-term relationship.

Choose Phone Over Chat

For medium readings specifically, phone is vastly superior to chat. The emotional nuance of a medium reading — the pauses, the catch in the reader’s voice, the gentle tone when they deliver a message — is lost in text. If you are comfortable with video, that works too. But at minimum, use the phone.

Prepare Your Heart, Not a Script

Do not write out a list of things you want the medium to say. Do not prepare test questions designed to trip them up. Go in with an open heart and a willingness to receive whatever comes through. You can tell the medium your loved one’s first name and how they passed, but nothing more. Let them bring the details.

Bring Tissues and Privacy

You will cry. I cried during every single reading, even the mediocre one. Find a private space where you can be vulnerable without embarrassment. Close the door. Silence your phone notifications. Give yourself 30 minutes after the reading to just sit and process.

Tell Someone You Trust

You do not need to announce it on social media, but tell one person — a friend, a sibling, an adult child — that you are exploring medium readings. Having someone to talk to about the experience makes it richer and safer. My friend Helen and I now compare notes regularly, and those conversations are almost as valuable as the readings themselves.

Watch for Red Flags

If a medium says your loved one is “stuck” and needs additional paid sessions to “cross over,” end the reading. If they claim you have a curse that needs removing, end the reading. If they pressure you to spend more, end the reading. Legitimate mediums deliver messages. They do not create crises that require your continued payment.

How to Know If a Medium Reading Was Genuine

After six readings, I developed a personal framework for evaluating whether a reading was genuine or generic. I share it here because I think it can help other seniors approach this experience with healthy discernment.

The specificity test. Did the medium provide details that were specific to your loved one and your shared life? “Your husband loved you very much” is generic. “Your husband is showing me a pegboard wall with tools outlined in marker” is specific. Genuine readings are built on specific details.

The surprise test. Did the medium say something that surprised you? Something you were not expecting, not hoping for, and could not have telegraphed through your own words or body language? The surprise moments were always the most convincing in my experience. The stopped clock. The tree that needed to come down. The coffee with two sugars.

The emotion test. How did you feel during the reading? Not after, when you have had time to analyze, but during. Genuine readings create an emotional response that is hard to manufacture — a catch in your throat, a sudden wave of recognition, the feeling that your loved one is close. If you felt nothing during the reading, the connection likely was not strong.

The consistency test. If you try multiple readers across multiple platforms, do the core details remain consistent? Across my six readings, every medium who connected with Ed described his hands, his work, and his pragmatic personality. The specific details varied, but the essence of Ed was consistent. That consistency across strangers who had no contact with each other meant something to me.

The pressure test. Did the medium pressure you to book another session, buy additional services, or spend more money? Genuine mediums deliver their messages and let you decide what to do next. If the reading ended with a sales pitch rather than a respectful goodbye, that is a mark against its authenticity.

No single reading will give you absolute proof of anything. But over time, across multiple experiences, a pattern emerges that is hard to explain away entirely. That pattern has been enough for me.

The Conversation I Had with My Daughter

I want to share this because I think it matters.

After my third medium reading, my daughter Sarah noticed I seemed different. Not happier exactly, but lighter. Less weighted down. She asked me what had changed.

I told her about the readings. She was skeptical. She is a nurse with a science-based worldview, and I expected her to tell me I was wasting my money. Instead, she listened. She asked questions. And then she said something I will never forget.

“Mom, I don’t know if mediums are real. But I know that you’ve been drowning since Dad died, and now you’re not drowning anymore. Whatever is causing that, I’m grateful for it.”

She was right. I had been drowning. The medium readings threw me a rope — not to climb out of the grief, but to keep my head above water while I learned to swim in this new, Ed-less world.

Where I Am Now

It has been seven months since my first reading with Margaret. I still get the occasional reading, usually when I am facing a big decision or when the grief hits harder than usual. Last month, I had a reading before my first date since Ed died. The medium told me Ed was showing her a thumbs-up sign, which made me laugh because Ed was not a subtle man. If he approved of something, he gave you a literal thumbs up, big grin and all.

The date was nice. The man was kind. It was not love, and it may never be, but it was a start.

I still make my own coffee every morning. I still use the blue mug. And sometimes, when I take that first sip, I swear I can feel Ed standing behind me, one calloused hand on my shoulder, his voice in my ear saying, “Good morning, kid.”

Maybe it is my imagination. Maybe it is him. Either way, I am not drowning anymore.

If You Are Thinking About Trying This

I know how it feels to sit at your kitchen table, alone with your grief, wondering if reaching out to a medium is brave or foolish. I sat in that exact chair, with that exact question, not so long ago.

Here is what I wish someone had told me: there is no wrong reason to try a medium reading. Whether you are hoping for concrete evidence of an afterlife, or you just want to spend 30 minutes focused on the person you loved most, or you are simply lonely and want to talk to someone who understands loss — all of those reasons are valid.

You do not need to believe in mediums to benefit from a medium reading. You do not need to be religious, spiritual, or even particularly open-minded. You just need to be willing to sit with the experience and see what happens.

The worst case scenario is that you spend $20 to $50 on a reading that feels generic and unconvincing. You learn something about yourself in the process, and you move on. The best case scenario is that a stranger on the phone mentions the blue mug, the two sugars, and the calloused hands, and for one brief, breathtaking moment, the person you lost feels close enough to touch.

I took that gamble seven months ago. I would make the same choice every single time.

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The names and some identifying details in this article have been changed to protect privacy. This account reflects one person’s experience with medium readings. Individual results vary. Medium readings should complement, not replace, grief counseling or mental health support. If you are experiencing severe grief or depression, please consult a licensed professional.