Having a relationship with a widower comes with a lot of intricacies and peculiarities, while you could easily get along with a man who has never lost a spouse before, it may not be so easy for a man who once did.
Some of these peculiarities, if not paid sufficient attention, can mar a relationship even before it begins and that is why they shouldn’t be treated with levity.
Tips on How to Date a Widowed man
Below are some helpful tips on how to date a widowed man:
- Understand that he has once loved and lost before: dating a widower isn’t like random dating. His loss could arouse fear of the unknown in his mind. He may be feeling some kind of guilt for been with another woman, or may even be confused on whether to let you fully into his life. Many researchers have also suggested that men who once loved their spouse but lost them to death often fear of having to lose in their next relationships. So, understand his plight because only then can you understand why he acts the way he does.
- Communication is Key: Be free with him and communicate your needs, inner desires, fears and commitment. Communication is an essential part of every relationship and it is very crucial when it comes to a widowed man; you need to know if he is actually ready to take another plunge at a real relationship.
- Accept his children and his family: if you are dating him for real, he’s going to want you to meet his family and if he’s got children, you guys will eventually connect (But if he doesn’t bring it up, do not push it). Once this happens, accept his past life, his kids and love him for whom he has become and understand that bonding with his children is an effective way to make him feel secure with you.
- Give him time to grieve and heal over his loss: trust me, you do not want to be a replacement for some sorts, he needs to accept you as an individual or yourself, with your distinct lifestyles, tastes and preferences, and not merely see you as a filler of the vacuum created by the loss of his wife. Talk about this subject, observe, help him to heal, but do not start the relationship if he is yet to let go of the past or unprepared to date again.
- Take it slow: dating a widowed man isn’t like an ordinary relationship; cut him some slack, go one step at a time, give him time to heal, let him be the one to decide what speed he wants you guys to go, etc.
- Give him some attention and create good memories together: Widowed dating gives a soothing effect to a wounded heart which has lost someone sometime past. Being available in their time of need, going on vacations or site seeing together and creating fun-filled memories can make the whole experience worthwhile and help both parties let go of the past.